Amid the busy rhythms of daily life, like homework, activities, and countless responsibilities, it’s easy to prioritize achievement above all else. But just as important as academic success is something deeper: the capacity for kindness, compassion, and genuine empathy.
Every day brings opportunities to nurture these qualities in our children. While kindness and empathy are closely related, understanding the difference helps us, as parents and educators, create a school culture where every child feels seen, valued, and connected.
Kindness vs. Empathy: What’s the Difference?
Kindness is something we do. It’s the simple but powerful act of offering a smile, sharing a toy, or helping a classmate. These actions build strong relationships, create a sense of belonging, and establish a culture of respect. The more we encourage kindness, the more it becomes second nature to our children.
Empathy, however, is something we feel. It is the ability to step into someone else’s experience, to recognize their emotions, and to respond with care. Empathy requires more than just being nice. It asks children to consider how others feel and why they may be feeling that way. When children develop empathy, they move beyond surface-level politeness and form genuine, meaningful connections with those around them. Together, kindness and empathy lay the foundation for emotional intelligence, strong friendships, and a community where every child feels supported.
How We Foster Kindness and Empathy at School
In our classrooms, teachers don’t just talk about kindness and empathy; they integrate them into everyday learning experiences. Through character education lessons and advisory discussions, students explore how their words and actions impact others. They engage in classroom conversations that help them recognize different perspectives and understand the importance of treating others with care and respect. Gatherings, such as morning meetings and Flagpole, allow students to reflect on their role in building a compassionate community, reinforcing the idea that kindness and empathy are core values, not just occasional gestures.
Students also live these values through service-learning projects. Whether helping a local organization or taking on small acts of service within our school, children gain real-world experience in showing empathy and making a positive impact.
How Parents Can Reinforce Empathy at Home
At home, children learn by watching us. When parents model patience, compassion, and understanding, even in moments of stress, those behaviors take root. The way we speak about others, respond to someone in need, or simply listen to our children all shape their sense of empathy.
One of the most powerful tools is encouraging “perspective-taking.” When your child shares a story, ask, “How do you think they felt?” or “What would you want someone to do if you were in their place?” These small, thoughtful questions help children naturally build empathy.
Celebrating moments of kindness also matters. When children show care, no matter how small, acknowledging it reinforces the value of being kind. Empathy also grows through real-life experiences. Whether it’s volunteering as a family, offering to help a neighbor, or simply practicing active listening, these everyday moments teach children that kindness and empathy are more than just concepts; they are a way of life.
Why Empathy Matters Now More Than Ever
In today’s world of growing social pressures, both online and off, empathy is not just a “nice-to-have” trait. It’s essential. It helps children navigate friendships, build resilience, and become thoughtful, compassionate individuals who contribute to their communities.
Recently, I revisited "Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World" by Dr. Michele Borba, a book that beautifully illustrates why empathy is one of the most important predictors of a child’s success and well-being. Dr. Borba emphasizes that empathy must be taught and nurtured, and she offers practical, research-backed strategies that parents and educators can use to help children develop emotional awareness and compassion. Her book is a wonderful resource for families who want to reinforce at home what we are cultivating in school: a culture of kindness, empathy, and understanding.
When kindness and empathy are woven into the fabric of our school and home life, children feel safe, valued, and empowered to make a difference in the world. Our work as educators and parents is deeply interconnected, and together, we can ensure that our children grow into not just intelligent students but also kind, understanding, and emotionally strong individuals.
